Thanksgiving: It brings out the worst in celebrities

Thanksgiving: a time to give thanks, gather with loved ones, eat lots of turkey, and watch sports on TV. 

But celebrities have a hard time doing things like 'normal' people, you see, they are 'ARTISTS' they are unique creatures capable of great, brilliant things, and the rest of us are just plodding stoopid peasants. DUH

The way famous people celebrate the holiday is by opening a can of serious whoop ass on each other. This is how their true artistry is allowed to be expressed. 

Thanksgiving 2009: Elin Woods used a golf club to tell her cheating no-good husband Tiger Woods, "Happy Turkey Day!" 

Thanksgiving 2012: Halle Berry asks her ex-boyfriend Gabriel Aubry and current husband to engage in a Hunger Games type fight for survival on the front driveway of her West Hollywood home. Olivier Martinez, though shorter than his opponent, emerged victorious, claiming a second piece of pumpkin pie from the holiday feast. 

What will 2013 bring? We can't wait to see!

Halle Berry wanted to give birth to son Maceo in the middle of the Mr Bones Pumpkin Patch

But her doctor thought it wouldn't be a good idea. 
No worries, Halle Berry made sure her paparazzi hating husband Olivier Martinez paraded around daughter Nahla at Mr Bones while she rested up in the hospital. 
Just like last year, the little girl had face paint slathered on to make the pictures more interesting and spooky. 

Do you still believe that celebrities hate their children being photographed when they travel to specific places they know are hot beds for paparazzi? 

Like we said before, who will save these children from their famous (attention starved) parents??

Paparazzi you've been warned: Halle Berry had a baby boy today

Boy oh boy do we feel sorry for the first paparazzi who tries to get the little guy's photo. "Maceo Robert Martinez," is the name selected by Halle and Olivier. 

Uh, we saw what daddy Oliver Martinez did to Halle's ex-boyfriend Gabriel Aubry last Thanksgiving!

We can only imagine how protective Olivier is going to be of his first son.
Paparazzi you have been warned!

By the way, Gabriel Aubry had a four inch height advantage on Oliver Martinez. OUCH!

Why celebrities should boycott People magazine

The latest People magazine (September 2, 2013) has an entire issue devoted to celebrity children: "Celebs who have twins!" "Celeb kid look alikes" "Best dressed celeb kids" "Cutest Kids" "Adorable at every age" "Digital debuts" and the majority of these features omit the celeb parent entirely!
Idiots like Halle Berry and Jennifer Garner go stomping off to the Calif State Assembly to whine and moan about how paparazzi are literally shooting the sh*t out of their kids, on cue tears streaming down their faces, pleading, "make it stop!"
Here's a tip Halle and Jen, tell People magazine to stop putting a bounty on your kids' heads. Tell them at one of your press junkets when you're begging for them to give a good write up to your latest box office bomb.
Newsflash: As long as their is someone buying, there will be someone snapping.

Jennifer Garner to paparazzi: Take my picture! No, don't take my picture! Take my picture --dammit!

Jennifer Garner joined Halle Berry today to urge California lawmakers to make paparazzi go away.
You see, Jen and Halle can't believe that grown men with backpacks and long lenses want to follow them to their children's schools and karate lessons.
How did this happen?
Funny, but Garner smiles a lot for those misbegotten fools who traipse behind her day after day, we think she wants her picture taken.
Here's some advice, Jen.
MOVE out of LA, you're a movie star, so is your husband, you don't have a TV series that requires you to live here. Bruce Willis and Demi Moore at the height of their collective fame moved their family to a crap town in Idaho.
Or, wear a hat and sunglasses, keep your head down, give the middle finger, ruin the photos.
Halle, that goes for you as well.

This can't be good for Gabriel Aubry's modeling career!

The curse of Halle Berry struck model Gabriel Aubry in the form of Olivier Martinez' fists, and this is the shocking result. It seems like Aubry may have a legal case against Olivier if his face doesn't snap back into modeling level shape and he is unable to work in his chosen profession. Notice to all paparazzi: stand a good ten feet away from Olivier when you take his picture, and say only nice things!

The trouble with Halle

"I've never known a girl who can throw a tantrum like she does," David Justice on then estranged wife Halle Berry.

Poor Halle Berry. 
She was abused by her father, her first husband David Justice had anger issues, Eric Benet cheated on her, in 2000 there were forces bigger than her that made her flee the scene of a hit-and-run accident that she caused, leaving another driver bloodied and broken. 
Now, we have Gabriel Aubry, the father of her daughter Nahla. He's a hot head that got beaten to a pulp by her much shorter current fiance Olivier Martinez on Thanksgiving day [2012]. 
I'd be careful if I was Olivier, because when he and Halle break up, she may allege those fists hit her as well...BTW, each one of these "abusive" men went on to have normal relationships with women and were never in the news again...

Who says Halle Berry doesn't like paparazzi?! Look who's pimpin' their kid at the "paparazzi patch!"

Halle Berry is trying to convince a Los Angeles judge that she MUST be allowed to leave the US and live in France with her daughter Nahla because the paparazzi have become so dangerous to the both of them. Really Halle? Is that why you had to take Nahla to Mr Bones paparazzi patch in WeHo and have her shot to sh*t by 100 photogs? We're callin' you out, and think you really love the attention, and gee, we think you have a movie out right now too that needs some pub...

When celebs want attention, they go to Mr Bones Pumpkin Patch in West Hollywood

Those poor celebrities and their children, can't they ever escape the paparazzi? Maybe they don't want to escape them! Consider the Mr Bones pumpkin patch in West Hollywood where there is a section of hay bales set up in the corner just for paps to sit and wait, and then shoot pics of celebs showing up with their famous tots. Last year Christina Aguilera was the first to show up with son Max, this year it was Halle Berry with daughter Nahla, Jessica Alba with her daughters, and later Heidi Klum and her brood and boyfriend bodyguard. There are so many pumpkin patches dotting Los Angeles, yet they have to go to this small lot in West Hollywood where they know there is a paparazzi shooting gallery. Yes, they want the attention...

Halle Berry lives two doors down from the gay sultan of sleeze! TMZ super-douche Harvey Levin!

Poor Halle Berry! The Oscar-winning actress has the supreme misfortune of living 223 feet away from TMZ's Harvey Levin and his gay lover Andy Mauer. Harvey lives in a gated home at 1136 N Doheny Drive, a place he and Andy have owned since 2007, around the same time Halle moved a few doors up. Halle, we feel your pain! Guess she won't be over to borrow a cup of sugar, or whatever Harvey and Andy are dishing out!

When photo agencies LIE about where a photo was taken

If a photo agency gets an exclusive photo of a celebrity, they may lie about where it was actually taken, in order to protect it from other agencies hot on the trail of the star.

Such is the case with this INF photo of Halle Berry with an afro.

First they said she was in Vancouver, then Toronto, Canada. Big difference! Poor schlepps at People.com didn't know which one to put, so they have both locations on their site.