Meet Chantel Jeffries the NEW and improved Kim K!

Justin Bieber was arrested for DUI and reckless driving in Miami in the wee hours of January 23, and at his side was this lovely 21-year old model named Chantel Jeffries. 
Get lost Kim Kardashian, the world has a new 2.0 version...

Kaley Cuoco & Ryan Sweeting: Countdown to divorce in three, two, one...

Professional tennis player Ryan Sweeting--let us stop there. 
You've never heard of him before he started dating Kaley Cuoco, right? But he IS ranked #677 for singles players in the world, that status should have him raking in millions of $--NOT. 
When paparazzi shot photos of a brand new BMW being dropped off at Kaley's home, they assumed she had purchased the pricey ride for Ryan, and they were right of course. 
But Ryan, who had no idea hooking up with the Big Bang Theory actress would come with the added aggravation of photographers following them everywhere 24/7 took to his twitter to counter their photo caption: 

This idiot is lucky if he can get a job as a 'pro' at a country club, that is if they are into hiring someone who has a DUI and drug arrest in their past. 

Now to Kaley, she did buy that car, he lives in her home, has no job, no endorsements, he's a loser and she's going to file for divorce in the next 18-months. 
Look how thrilled Ryan is to be sitting next to his wife with FLOOR seats of the Lakers game on January 3? Right, like we said...

Guess what Ryan, those same annoying "idiot" photographers will catch you cheating as well, just a heads up! 

On the rocks? No way! JLo and Casper celebrate their two year anniversary on twitter

The media seems to have missed this, so let's see how fast they copy Exposarazzi, shall we? 

We've already been ripped off by the drunks over at  Page Six (we hear booze hound Richard Johnson is back behind a desk), so here's another one for them to pour in a shot glass...

And...did Casper get a Harley Davidson motorcycle from his 'bear' JLo for making it to the 2-year mark? 

OOOH, JLo upped Casper's allowance! 

Kris Jenner removes vanity plates: "Clipper Mom" has left the building

Kris Jenner used to have a vanity plate on her Bentley, it read: LAKR MOM.
Lamar Odom was traded to the Dallas Mavericks and the Bentley quickly went to a regular number plate.
Kris Jenner had "CLPR MOM" vanity plate put on her white Mercedes G-Wagen.
Lamar Odom will not be playing in the NBA any time soon, perhaps ever.
The car is now being driven around by Kylie Jenner (who crashed her brand new G-Wagon) and it has no plates, just an empty bracket. 

That leaves us to replace the plate, how about "DUI MOM"?
After all, daughter Khloe has one as well...

Kris Jenner calls emergency family meeting: "We're circling the drain..."

Lamar Odom's DUI
Kylie Jenner car crash
Kris Jenner talk show cancelation
Keeping Up With the Kardashians barely getting 1 million viewers in the 18-49 demo
Khloe called "Ugly" by pop culture poet Eminem in new song

It's time for them to go AWAY.