Kris Jenner makes Us Weekly bow down

So, if you're Us Weekly mag and you want to cover Kim Kardashian's baby shower, and Kourtney Kardashian's bikini body pics and story, it means you have to do articles that no one cares about that promote that other Kardashian ---Rob.
Does anyone care about this loser? NO, but madam Kris Jenner makes the mags do fluff pieces on this half-wit if they want to get the good stuff on her prize pigs.
Is there anyone out there that even wants to know ONE thing about Rob Kardashian?
Well, here's some REAL facts:
1. My father, attorney Robert Kardashian Sr helped OJ Simpson get away with killing his ex-wife and a young waiter during the 'trial of the century' in 1995.
2. My family fakes everything on their reality show, including duping a dumb basketball player named Kris Humphries into marrying my sister Kim on TV so our family could literally rake in the cash.
3. My sister Kim and my mom inked a seven figure deal on the release of her sex tape with ex-boyfriend Ray J Norwood.
4. I have a sock line at Neiman Marcus where they sell for $30 a pop, I just put my name on them because my mom Kris wanted me to be doing something, anything for a living.
5. I lied about going to law school.

We could go on, but just the name Robert Kardashian sends us to snoozeville...

Kardashian mantra: "We can't smile for you, we're under contract..."

The Kardashians are under Kontract to one paparazzi agency, Splash, or should we say under Kontract to $plash. When other paps happen upon them exclusively and ask them to $mile, they say, "We can't smile or take off our sunglasses for you, we're under Kontract..." So when we saw this PCN photo this morning of a sullen Kourtney and her unibrow baby boy Mason out at night in NYC, we had to post it. No doubt smiling $plash photos of a smiling mother and son in NYC will emerge soon...We're sure it's a 50/50 split like the deal LeAnn Rimes has with GSI's clean undies Mike Kamara.