Starzlife: the paparazzi gang that couldn't shoot straight

Basic 101 of photography: If your picture is blurry, you have failed as a snapper. With expensive camera equipment used by the paps, there are all kinds of safe-guards to keep the photos from coming out blurry. Will someone tell the losers over at Starzlife that? One is called "Auto Focus" and it's a button on the side of the long lens. No matter, the Starzlosers photographers (if you can even call them photographers) continue to shamelessly put out blurry pictures of celebs.

Sorry if you need glasses to view the above screengrabs! 

What a shocker: Bachelorette DeAnna dumps Jesse

Now the only question is, who will continue to do $et-ups with Pacific Coast News? 

The myth of the Ivy

Photographers know that anyone desperate for attention pays a lunchtime trip to the Ivy restaurant. The paparazzi line up outside the white picket fence for hours trying to snap a picture of someone leaving. 

But here's the catch...when was the last time you saw a photo of someone leaving the Ivy in the magazines? 

Unless the rag is doing a round-up on celebs at the Ivy, the answer is September 10, 2003, when JLo and Ben Affleck dined together after canceling their wedding. JLo left in a bright green dress -- and tears in her eyes. Ah, there was a story behind that photo op. 

Other than that, I say the paps are wasting their time hanging out at the Ivy, the question is, when will they figure that out? 

This is the photo that four paps wasted their afternoon on...

Do you think this photo will EVER make it into a magazine? I think not!

Forced to go back to the well

When it's slow photo-wise, paparazzi return to the tried and true. They know where a star lives, and when they take their morning jog, pick up their children, take a yoga class, you name it. The photos are boring, and like a dozen you've seen before, but they can't help themselves. It's slow, and they need to come up with something. Oh yeah, Minnie Driver pushing a stroller near her Hollywood Hills home...yawn

Spying on the paparazzi

They stake out the Beverly Glen shopping center with three or four paps, they wait, they wait, for....Hayley Ray! That's right, all of the losers shown spent all afternoon today waiting for Dr [90210] Ray's wife to leave a boutique. One fatso got so bored he brushed his teeth in the parking lot! And forget how the paps make fun of Kirstie Alley or Oprah, check out his HUGE behind!!

When photo agencies LIE about where a photo was taken

If a photo agency gets an exclusive photo of a celebrity, they may lie about where it was actually taken, in order to protect it from other agencies hot on the trail of the star.

Such is the case with this INF photo of Halle Berry with an afro.

First they said she was in Vancouver, then Toronto, Canada. Big difference! Poor schlepps at People.com didn't know which one to put, so they have both locations on their site.