Caption This contest brings in amazing retorts...

Here's a bearded Dean McDermott having a convo with his famous wife Tori Spelling. 
But what on earth are they saying to each other? 

Answers:
"You're pregnant AGAIN??"
"What do you mean I have to get a job??"
"I just watched our sex tape..." 
"You want to perform a vasectomy on me yourself?" 
"You spent what, on what? Tori stop spending money!" 
"What the f*ck did I do now?"
Dean thinks, "Oh shit, she knows I did a sex tape with her gay BFF!" 
"Dean, did you really send my mother [Candy] a photo of my poop this morning?" [read THIS post and you'll understand]