Three doorknobs on the hunt for Charlie Sheen

These three yahoos followed a brand new black Maybach into a shopping center in Bel Air, hoping it was the scandal king Charlie Sheen--turns out it was just some big fat bald guy in the fancy car

Here's one for the record books: Starz Management & PR company, run by criminals

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Only in America could a gay Russian scam artist named Sergey Knazev get together with a fellow gay con-artist named Stephen Lenehan and form not only a bootleg photo agency, but a supposed management company! These two were SUED for trying to sell a sex tape of Oscar winning screenwriter Dustin Lance Black and his former lover to undercover private detectives last July (2009) and now the crooks have a new scam! If you are a charity, a celebrity, or any legitimate organization RUN don't walk away from these two!!! This is a scam business run by two criminals, one of whom may be in the Russian mafia. Do NOT do business with Starz Management & PR, you have been warned!

Us Weekly's Jennifer Aniston source--her acting coach!

Keeping in our theme of inside job snitches who tattle to the magazines, we have Leigh Kilton-Smith, Jennifer Aniston's longtime pal and acting coach who even travels the world with the former Friends actress. Us Weekly's frizzy haired munchkin Ian Drew receives inside baseball tips on Jen directly from Leigh, which leads to cover stories like "Why Jen Dumped Vince [Vaughn]" or "What Jen Says About Angelina..." you get the picture. Again, the snitch is from the inner sanctum, not a manicurist or limo driver. Above you'll see the slippery, greasy Drew with Sharon Stone, and a giggly Leigh Kilton-Smith behind a camera shy Jen Aniston.

Ever wonder how the magazines get their "insider" information about celebrities?

It's called sources people, and we're not just talking greedy valets or disgruntled former employees, we're talking big wigs, or wanna-be ones, and some you'd never suspect! Hence the tale of the up-and-coming Latina starlet named Lauren Sanchez, who, in 2003 was engaged to super agent Patrick Whitesell. Seems Lauren, then a virtual unknown, wanted to up her profile, and began feeding Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck [doomed] wedding info to the BUG-eyed, tumor-headed, super sleeze Ken Baker at Us Weekly (above, middle) in order to get in the friendly fashion pages of the tabloid rag. Her fiance (now husband) Whitesell represented poor Ben, who as being shilled out to Us Weekly so that Lauren could work her way up the celebrity ladder. Just three months before the wedding that never was, a then unknown Lauren Sanchez appeared in the Fashion Police "Look of the Week" section, beating out real celebrity fashionistas for the coveted spot. Lauren's leaks to bug-eyed Baker must have worked, seven years later she is a co-host on the TV news show Extra with Mario Lopez. And that, my friends, is how the magazines get their information. More secret sources to come...

X-17 sits on Britney Spears TWO WEEKS and INF gets her!

This is why a bunch of illegal immigrants from Brazil should be taken out to the shed and whipped with a spiked, dirty electrical cord in the rain. 

X-17 devotes three FULL TIME photographers to "sit on" Britney Spears in Calabasas. Chort Lens, Camouflage, and 4-runner douche (as we like to call them) sit and wait at various corners where she could exit, in the extreme valley heat, rain, sleet and well, you get the drift. So, after two weeks of sitting, who gets photos of Britney and her boys? INF! Bless their hearts, an enterprising INF crew snapped the X-17-free trio behind a karate studio in the valley. Look at Britney's expression, "Hey, where'd you guys come from?" sort of look. She's probably relieved that the criminals at X-17 are no where to be seen. Way to go INF!

How would you like this INF photographer creep taking your picture?

It's no wonder that the celebs can't stand the paparazzi, look at what's out there? This creep that works for INF looks like he's just been let out of prison or something, how would you like him taking pix of your kids? Creepy!

This big fatso pig is on TMZ and makes fun of celebrities

But we caught Subway's number one customer "Gary Trock" loading up on carbs and soda before heading back to that TMZ sweatshop. He was surprised that someone wanted to paparazzi him, maybe he knew we'd be laughing at him along with a few thousand of our Exposarazzi pals! By the way, his TMZ security badge says his name is "Lard A**." We're thinking that his name should be "Gary Truck" instead!
Damn I'm funny